It's been an "Aha" moment day

So I have been at my new job for 10 months. I have to learn this new program to compute tax and net operating loss and non-refundable credit carryovers. I have been playing with this program for about 8 months. So today I start computing on a new client (following behind someone elses work-again) and all of a sudden I see it. There they are those pesky little carry overs and I can back into why all of the carry over isn't used on this taxable year. So it isn't really true, YOU CAN TRACH AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS. Sit up and fetch are next.

Sick Day

This morning I woke up with a migraine. I haven't had one for a long time. I called in sick and tried to go back to sleep. No such luck. I don't know why when you can sleep in I can't but on work days I have a hard time dragging my fanny out of bed. It did feel good to spend a day relaxing. I haven't done this for a long time. I guess it was time for a mental health day.

The Cable Guy

Yesterday the cable guy came because the digital box in our room wasn't working. He was so thorough, he changed the cable wire in our toom and fixed it so the internet is smoking hot its so fast. The tv in the family room gets an unbelievably clear picture. It isn't often these days that you get such great customer service especially from the cable company.

Random thoughts on Summer Days

This day started out great. Sitting on the deck sipping a beverage. Then on to laundry (which I hung on the line outside) sprayed the weeds in the grass. Put down bug killer and cleaned my shower. Man am I glad I don't work on Fridays (wait I just don't get paid for the work I do on Fridays).

Mike has been working out of town all week. I am sitting in the shade waiting to take him home. Its funny how after sleeping next to someone for 30+ years you can't sleep when they aren't there. I have really missed him. Next week he is off to Monticello for the week. He has lost so much weight this year I have got to get the boy some new pants. He is dragging them around half way down his legs.

I went to the doctor today for my check up. Things weren't as bad as I thpught with my blood sugar but everything else is a different matter. Checking on my heart to make sure my shortness of breath isn't anything serious. Also checking on my gallbladder to see if that is why my stomache is acting up. Oh and my knee, checking on the arthritis in it. Trying to decide if it is time for a new one. I am almost hoping so. It has started to hurt quite badly. I feel like I am falling apart. But life is really looking up.

We bought a new truck last week. Took our old one in for its 2nd oil change (it was 3 years old) and a new pickup followed up home instead. It is pretty awesome and runs like a cut cat. That Mikey is so spoiled.

Happy Mothers Day to me

May 8, 2011 really was not the best Mothers Day I have ever had. May 8 is my dads birthday. He has been gone for 16 years now and I still miss him terribly. This was also the first Mother's Day when I didn't have a mother to honor. We lost our Mom on November 17, 2010. Then to dredge it all up again, we had a graveside service for her on the 23rd of April to inter her ashes. It was like losing her all over again. Even though I lost a Mom who had the capability to guide me 5 years ago when she had her stroke, she never lost the capability to love.

So the last of the one two punch for Mothers Day was when the boys decided to have not one but two squabbles. I am so ready for them to out grow this. It doesn't matter who works the longest hours or the hardest. And they need to not take things so personal. If they are going to tease, then they are going to have to take it when someone teases back.

The high point of the day are the wonderful women who love my sons. I hope my boys realize how blessed they are. The thing that gets me the most is that they would go to the mat for each other but then they also say the most hurtful things to each other. I really tried hard to teach them manners. They are getting along better but it just breaks my heart. I guess now I know why my Mom got so upset when I would fight with my sisters. After a while we got to the point where we would hide the arguments from her.

So anyway, I do need to be thankful for the gift I got from mike and Dave. At my advanced age, I am old enough for yard art. They gave me the cutest frog and turtle for my planter box in the front yard. Next it will be pink flamingos. Those will need to go in the back yard because I can see those works of art going missing.

So anyway for better or worse, Mothers Day 2011 is in the record books and life as we know it goes on.

Hurray, The Wicked Witch is Dead

I am not generally the type of person to celebrate the death of anyone but I have to say I am so proud of our military and glad that Osama Bin Laden wasn't taken alive. This one person has been responsible for manipulating the lives of many to his nefarious ways and endinng the lives if so many innocent people. I am, however, glad that he was accorded a decent burial according to Muslin customs. That one action shows the difference between people of the United States of America and the terroristic groups found in the world. Even though this guy was one of the worst specimins of humanity, we still treated his body with the respect it deserved as he was laid in his final resting space. I am glad that the body wasn't buried on land to later become a shrine by the terrorists. All that is left now is for Osama to make is peace and be judged by his God.

Again, I have to say a big thank you to the military that sticks with it no matter



how long it takes. And a second thank you to the families who go without their loved ones so we may sleep a little safer at night.

Sweet Memories

Saturday is the graveside service for my mother. She passed away on November 17, 2010 from the side effects of fighting everything they could throw at her for over 5 years. My Mom was one tough cookie. She had a stroke, then heart surgery, then fell and broke her leg (this after having had two new hips about 10 years ago). They diagnosed her with bladder cancer and I think she was finally glad to go.

My Dad passed away 16 years ago from Lou Gherigs Disease (ALS) that is one of the suckiest diseases that a body can have. Anyway, my Mom has spent 16 years waiting until we were strong enough to live without her so she could join her soulmate.

Anyway, the day of her funeral, there was a terrible snowstorm. She had expressed a wish to be cremated so waiting for the burial wasn't a real problem. I was good with it until about 3 weeks ago when it was time to start getting the arrangements for the graveside service completed. Turns out, I am not as over my grief as I thought I was. I think the hardest thing about losing her is how fast it happened. She went in the hospital on a Friday morning and passed away the following Wednesday morning. I had worked on Tuesday and Mike and I went down to Salt Lake to visit her after work. When I got there, I noticed the signs (of how close to death she really was) and told Mike I didn't think I had better leave. If I had not had the experience of ushering my Dad and my mother-in-law through the veil, I don't think I would have realized it was happening that fast.

I sat with her as she struggled to stay with us, and wished I could make it easier. I know in my heart she was not alone when she left that room for the last time, I just wish I could have given my Dad a hug and kiss one last time.

So now, I am once again gathering my thoughts to share at a service celebrating her life. I can't find the file that contains the talk I wrote for her funeral so I guess I am starting from scratch. Some one sent me an e-mail titled 25 things my Mother taught me. It was as if I could here her voice saying the things on the page. She had been on my mind so much I have dreamed about her. How wonderful to hear her voice, I just wish I could put my arms around her and tell her I wish I had been more patient with her and taken every opportunity I could to visit her.

I appease my hurt by knowing in my heart that she is in a better place with my father once again. She never liked being on her own and will be so glad to have his support and arms to hold her.

I love you so much Mom and Dad. I can't wait to see you again.

Parenting is Not For Wimps

I used to hate it when my kids would be up all night knowing that I still had to be at work the next morning at 6 a.m. regardless. The little darlings could have a nap at the babysitters but Mom didn't get that luxury. Then there was 12 years of missed assignments and "I don't know" hiding the homework that did get done. Fights on the playground, fights on the bus, calls from the attendance office, ear infections, colds, tonsilectomies, broken bones, stitches and the list goes on and on.

I would take it all back and live through it again. It is much easier than being a parent and watching your kids go through things you can't fix. I pray a lot but feel so helpless as I watch my boys endure challenges that I know will turn them into men and prepare them for their own turn at parenting, but boy it is hard. I try not to be a "helicopter" parent but a Mom worries don't you know.

I just try to make sure my boys know how much I love them and that I am proud of them when they make good decisions. And when they make mistakes I love them anyway and stand by them as they suffer the consequences of their actions.

Just saying though, it was much easier when I could put a "Bob the Builder" bandaid on it and kiss the booboo better.

Baby Boys

Twenty nine years ago today, I was pretty much miserable. Then I received one of the two best gifts in my life. Brandon will turn 29 tomorrow. After a rocky start, and 8 long days in the NICU at McKay Dee hospital, we brought our precious baby home and life as we knew it changed forever. So here he is 29 and starting a new year and a new page in his life. He and his wife Becca moved to West Valley to be closer to family. It was wonderful to have them come for dinner tonight and not have to rush because of an 8 hour drive home. Plus it will give him and his brother a chance to interact together as adults.

I am so proud of my son who is not afraid to step out of his comfort zone and make a new start. He is so blessed to have a partner who supports him and uplifts him and helps him explore all the possibilities that exist for the two of them. So as I sign off I just need to say Happy Birthday Brandon. I love you and our lives are so blessed because you chose to be a part of it.

Little Boys and Their Toys

Tonight was the Pine Wood Derby for our Cub Scout troops. Mike was a judge and said you couldn't go to a race without the proper attire. So with his Mark Martin shirt, his "Go Daddy" coat and his Kobalt Tools hat off we go. We also took his 41 year old PineWood derby car and Dave's car. Brandon's car is nailed in his shadow box so it got to stay home.

Talk about nerve racking. Some of those cars ran so close together it was very hard to tell who won the heats. After all the real kid's cars had all run, I asked the guy who owned the track if we could run my cars. This guy had all these fancy cars in metal boxes for the boys to look at. I was kind of embarassed to take our family's plain cars up there but did it anyway. Mikes car is about 41 years old (circa 1968 we think). When he saw this very plain old car, he was very excited and offered to BUY IT. I was flabbergasted. He said he had been looking at DI and every where for some to show the kids the older styles. You should have seen the look on his face when I said we had another one at home just like it.

So to make a long story short, we declined the offer to sell them but said we would let him borrow them if he wanted. I thought it might be fun for each of my boys to have one of their Dads cars along with theirs to shoe their kids. Maybe someday we can be a three generation PineWood Derby car family.

It's kind of funny how (when you are an orphan) how much family and generational stuff means. I am so greatful to our Moms who saved silly stuff like our report cards etc.. that will be fun to show our grandkids some day. I will even be able to explain to them what wonderful people their Great Grandparents were and how lucky we were to have them. It pleases me to think that somewhere in the spirit world, maybe even now, they are guiding and helping each other while we down here desperately miss one generation while waiting patiently for the next generation to bless us with their presence.

This is my blog and these are my feelingss

So it has come to my attention that some one has taken offense to a comment I posted on my blog yesterday. I never intentionally set out to hurt anyones feelings but the fact of the matter is this is my blog and these are my thoughts and feelings. The sad thing about the events of yesterday is someone made that same comment when I commented on a post she had made.

I am terribly sorry that someone has taken offense to my comments. I wasnt even thinking about her when I made the comment that she found offensive. So life will go on and I will continue to act in a manner that ultimately means "do no harm" and if anyone takes offense but chooses not to talk to me about it, then I guess that is something they will have to deal with on their own.

Life is Great

I have been reading my oldest son's blog. I have to admit he has a real way with words. My goal for this year is to be more consistent in updating my blog. I am home today (day two of sick leave) with the flu. I am feeling better but have had the most awful hiccups all afternoon. Add that to a sore throat and not being able to catch my breath and I have been pretty much miserable.

So Brandon and Becca have celebrated their 1st anniversary. They seem content. Things are not perfect but they seem to have open communication (with each other--not their parents, which is how it should be). I am so happy that they seem to be resolving things and getting on with life.

Dave has been dating a very nice girl for about 4 months now. She has a very positive attitude and is working on her schooling. I am sitting quietly (very hard for me) and watching how this relationship develops. Dave seems to be doing well at work also. It is reassuring to see positive things finally happening for this kid. He will probably always struggle with certain aspects of his life. but he deserves good things. He has the biggest heart and the most giving nature and is growing up so well.